Marriage - From This Day Forward - Psalms 51, Song of Songs 2, Acts 18, Romans 16 - May 30, 2010

Bible Study – Marriage - From This Day Forward – May 30, 2010

This is our final lesson in the series “I Still Do.”

Our scripture is Psalm 51:6-10; Song of Songs 2:15; Acts 18:24-26; Romans 16:3-5a.

We have covered a lot of ground in the past four (4) weeks concerning marriage. Marriage is 100% by each spouse. Marriage is a building and learning process. Communication and faithfulness are vital for all marriages. Do not let little things build until they become big things. As I have stated before, Tony Campolo states that every marriage gives the opportunity for love. Love is built by working through the good times and the bad times in a loving relationship with each other. Your spouse needs to be your very best friend.

Lust is often mistaken for love. Lust begins in the mind. A lustful mind often creates unrealistic fantasies and when the fantasy is brought to reality, often the relationship sours. Lust is based upon what pleases the flesh and as soon as the flesh is no longer satiated, the person begins to seek another. This is why living together is not a good test to determine future compatibility and stability in marriage. People tend to perform until they can let their guard down and be themselves. Of course, nothing is absolute. There are exceptions to all relationships.

Let’s read Psalm 51:6-10:

6 Surely You desire integrity in the inner self, and You teach me wisdom deep within. 7 Purify me with hyssop,[3] Lv 14:4,49; Nm 19:18 and I will be clean; wash me, and I will be whiter than snow. 8 Let me hear joy and gladness; let the bones You have crushed rejoice. 9 Turn Your face away[4] Lit Hide Your face from my sins and blot out all my guilt. 10 God, create a clean heart for me and renew a steadfast[5] Or right spirit within me.

King David wrote this scripture after his adulterous affair with Bathsheba was exposed by the Prophet Nathan. As you may recall, King David should have been off leading his army into battle but instead he stayed at home. Had he already observed the woman on a neighboring roof top and he wanted to see her up close? We do not know. We know he should have been off with his army.

The scriptures tell us that David was a man after GOD’S own heart, yet he sinned. This is a message to every believer. Never think you are so spiritual that you are beyond stumbling and falling into sin. If you have the thought, that would never happen to you, then be extra careful because you are likely headed for a fall.


King David saw a woman bathing on a neighboring roof top in the evening. He asked his servants who she was and to bring the woman to him. He had sex with her and she conceived. The woman was married to Uriah, a leading warrior in David’s army. Uriah was off fighting. Once David learned that Bathsheba was pregnant, he had the grand plan of asking his general, Joab, to send Uriah home in hopes he would have sex with his wife. His plan failed when Uriah remained loyal to his men and refused to have sex with his wife. David sent a note back to his General that resulted in Uriah being placed on the front lines and being killed.

David tried to ignore what he had done. He not only committed adultery but he had committed murder. GOD had the Prophet Nathan confront David with his sin. David repented and confessed his sin. He realized fully what he had done and there was nothing he could do to undo what he had done. He realized the depth of his sin from one human to another but he also realized that his greatest sin was toward GOD. He went to GOD, WHO was the only source that had the power to clean him and restore his broken relationship with GOD.

David realized that GOD’S desire was for a person’s inner most being, his/her heart, to be pure before HIM. In the eyes of his heart, David knew that GOD had already convicted HIM of his sin and it is there that he acknowledged and confessed his sin to GOD. David’s sin had crushed him to the bone. David knew that only GOD could cleanse him from sin.

Hyssop was a plant that was used for a paint brush. It was also used for placing the blood of the sacrificed animal on the doorpost of the Israelites home the night of the Passover. The priest used hyssop to sprinkle blood on the altar for the sins of the people.

David realized that the altar of his heart needed to be sprinkled with blood for him to receive forgiveness for what he had done. This was a foreshadow of the cleansing blood of the LAMB of GOD, CHRIST. David was looking to GOD alone to be cleansed from his sin. He realized there was nothing he could do that would cleanse him. GOD had to cleanse him by washing him thoroughly. He knew GOD was his only hope to be made whiter than snow. He had sinned against GOD.

David’s downward slide began with lust in his heart. Lust took over and led to the next step of committing what he had conceived in his heart. His position as king allowed him to take advantage of Bathsheba and once he learned she was pregnant, to take matters into his own hands and have Uriah killed.

GOD had brought David to his knees and he acknowledged his need for the cleansing power of GOD. He remembered the days when his heart was pure before GOD and he knew that GOD was the only ONE who could restore the joy of their relationship. David had been crushed to the bone and he was asking GOD to restore the joy that he once knew through their relationship. He asked GOD not to turn HIS face from him and to blot out his sins.

Oh, what a blessing we have as Christians. The blood of JESUS blots out all of our sins and HIS shed blood washes, all who believe in HIM, whiter than snow.
1 John 1:9: 9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and righteous to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

When we confess our sins GOD forgives, cleanses and restores. That is the powerful love that GOD has for all who come to HIM through CHRIST. As we read these words we can feel the intensity of the heart of David and his yearning to be restored to complete relationship and fellowship with GOD.

It seems that David, in essence, was saying to GOD in verse 10, “If you will cleanse me and restore me, I will never lose my zeal to serve you and do such a stupid thing again.”

In our last study, JESUS focused on the things we allow to come into our minds. Our downward spiral begins with the mind. As Christians we must fill our minds and hearts with GOD’S Word and mediate on it day and night. We need to talk to GOD about what we think we are hiding in our hearts. We may need to go to a trusted source and confess what is taking place in our hearts and seek help.

Let’s read Song of Songs 2:15:

15 Catch the foxes for us— the little foxes that ruin the vineyards— for our vineyards are in bloom.

Song of Songs was written by Solomon. Bible scholars think Solomon wrote this in his early reign as king before he had so many wives. Song of Songs captures this is Song of Songs 6:8-9: 8 There are 60 queens and 80 concubines and young women[10] Or and virgins; Sg 1:3 without number. 9 But my dove, my virtuous one, is unique; she is the favorite of her mother, perfect to the one who gave her birth. Women see her and declare her fortunate; queens and concubines also, and they sing her praises:

He was laying it on thick to convince her to become queen number 61.

The main characters with speaking parts are King Solomon, the groom and Shulamite woman, the bride. There are also speaking parts for the “daughters of Jerusalem.” The spoken parts reflect a healthy/passionate expression of love between a man and a woman who are either newly married or about to be married.

Verse 15 was spoken by the Shulamite woman or the bride. She was either serving or had served as a keeper of vineyards. She had encountered foxes ruining the vineyard in search of grapes. The foxes represent the little things that can creep into a marriage and destroy it. So keep vigilant and active in preventing these little things from growing into big things and destroying what has been cultivated together.

This may have been the observations of the bride or advice passed along to her by her mother or a wise woman cautioning a young married couple or soon to be married couple about keeping their love for each other alive.

Some bible scholars interpret this story to depict a relationship between CHRIST (male) and believers (female). It is true that believers can allow little things to come between them and their relationship to CHRIST.

The key is communication. It is hard to communicate the things that annoy you with your spouse until it reaches the point of frustration and then it is often explosive. That is what you want to avoid, if possible. No relationship is perfect. It takes work on the part of both spouses.

Let’s read Acts 18:24-26:

24 A Jew named Apollos, a native Alexandrian, an eloquent man who was powerful in the Scriptures, arrived in Ephesus. 25 This man had been instructed in the way of the Lord; and being fervent in spirit,[11] Or in the Spirit he spoke and taught the things about Jesus accurately, although he knew only John’s baptism. 26 He began to speak boldly in the synagogue. After Priscilla and Aquila heard him, they took him home[12] Lit they received him and explained the way of God to him more accurately.

Paul met a married couple, Priscilla and Aquila, in Corinth. Paul as well as Priscilla and Aquila were tent makers. The Roman emperor, Claudius, ordered the Jews to leave Rome because of conflicts over Christianity. Apparently, the couple was already Christian. They likely told Paul about the Christian activity in Rome. Paul stayed with them in Corinth.

Paul left Corinth to go to Ephesus and Priscilla and Aquila went with him. In Ephesus, they met a Jew named Apollos. Apollos knew the scriptures and was an eloquent man but he needed the gospel message fine tuned. So Paul, Aquila and Priscilla invited Apollos to their home and instructed him in the complete gospel of CHRIST.

Through this scripture we can see the heart of Aquila and Priscilla toward each other and in obediently serving CHRIST.

Let’s read Romans 16:3-5a:

3 Give my greetings to Prisca[2] Traditionally, Priscilla, as in Ac 18:2,18,26 and Aquila, my co-workers in Christ Jesus, 4 who risked their own necks for my life. Not only do I thank them, but so do all the Gentile churches. 5 Greet also the church that meets in their home.

Priscilla and Aquila had returned to Rome and in his letter to the Christians in Rome, the Apostle Paul acknowledged the faithful service of Priscilla and Aquila to CHRIST. Paul endorsed them as “my co-workers” in his letter. Endorsing them as “co-workers” is a badge of honor for them coming from Paul. Paul referred to Priscilla as Prisca, which is the same.

Paul thanked Priscilla and Aquila for saving his life. We are not sure when this may have occurred. Some speculation is that it was in Corinth as recorded in Acts 18:9 -17 or Ephesus as recorded in 19:23-41 or it could have been an unrecorded event. Paul had a way of stirring up the emotions of people when he attacked their gods.

Whatever it was, Paul as well as the Gentile church members were also grateful for their intervention.

Not only were they faithful to each other, they were also faithful to CHRIST. It is interesting that Priscilla was mentioned before her husband, Aquila. This could mean that Paul considered her as the leader/organizer of the evangelistic effort and more out spoken.

Priscilla and Aquila were a dedicated couple who served our LORD. The last mention of them is in 2 Timothy 4:19:

19 Greet Prisca and Aquila, and the household of Onesiphorus.

They are back in Ephesus. They moved around quite a lot. Likely the LORD used their tent making skills to lead them to areas HE wanted them to serve. It seemed that wherever they went, they opened their home to teach and spread the gospel of CHRIST. They remained faithful to the LORD and to each other. What a testimony!!!

GOD has HIS children all over the world who are faithfully serving HIM in various capacities. It is fitting to close with this word of encouragement to Paul from GOD found in Acts 18:9-11:

9 Then the Lord said to Paul in a night vision, “Don’t be afraid, but keep on speaking and don’t be silent. 10 For I am with you, and no one will lay a hand on you to hurt you, because I have many people in this city.” 11 And he stayed there a year and six months, teaching the word of God among them.

Blessings to all and remain faithful to your spouse, if you are married, and to our LORD.

Marriage - I Pledge You My Faithfulness - Matthew 5 and Proverbs 5 and 6 - May 23, 1020

Bible Study – Marriage – I Pledge You My Faithfulness – May 23, 2010

This is study four (4) in our series “I Still Do.”

Our scripture is Matthew 5:27-30; Proverbs 5:15-21; 6:25-32.

Our study this week focuses on faithfulness in marriage.

Unfaithfulness in any relationship is devastating, especially in marriage and more especially when children are involved. The offended parties have been betrayed and embarrassed because they feel that others have known about the infidelity and they have been in the dark. It is humiliating for the betrayed spouse.

In our study we will see that JESUS took adultery to another level. Why? Because HE knew that such offenses, as adultery and murder, begin in the minds and hearts of people. The mind is ground zero. This is where Satan works. HE also knew that the religious leaders and teachers considered the physical act as being sin. They did not consider the act of adultery and murder as beginning in the mind and heart. HE wanted HIS hearers to consider the spirit of GOD’S commands and not just the letter of the commands.

Let’s read Matthew 5:27-30: (JESUS is speaking.)

27 “You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery.[12] Ex 20:14; Dt 5:18 28 But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye • causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to go into hell!

This was JESUS’ Sermon on the Mount or also known as the Beatitudes. JESUS was speaking to the people, the religious leaders who prided themselves on being pure and HIS disciples. HE brought the self-righteous halos of the religious leaders and teachers from around their heads to around their feet with HIS statement in this scripture. The religious leaders taught that the physical act of adultery was all that counted as sin and accountable to GOD. Thinking such acts in their minds was not considered sinful. JESUS made it clear that there was the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. If a person lusted after a woman it was the same as committing adultery in his heart. Most marriage partners would agree that it is easier to deal with adultery of the heart than physical adultery.

The point being that the mind and heart is where it all begins – murder, taking that first drink, doing drugs, looking at pornography, robbing and the list goes on and on. Breaking moral barriers begin in the mind. JESUS was saying guard your hearts and minds at all costs. This is where our relationship with CHRIST is critical. Some people may need an accountability friend or group to help them if they are considering things they know to be wrong or that may lead you into an addictive or devastating lifestyles. Admitting that we have a tendency toward a lifestyle that most of society rejects is very difficult. This is where Christian counseling may be helpful if you can be honest with your counselor about an issue with which you are struggling.
Did JESUS consider the thoughts of the mind and heart serious? I will let you decide. In essence HE said, if looking at a woman in a lustful manner results in you sinning, then pluck out your right eye. Why the right eye? Right handed people, especially men, use their right eye to aim a weapon. The right eye was considered a person’s most important eye. Likewise, if your hand gets you into trouble, then cut it off. Again, JESUS referred to the right hand because it was the hand most important to a man to defend himself and important for him to earn a living. A right handed person would hold his sword in his right hand or use a hammer or use a saw, etc.

Then JESUS said to do likewise with any other body part that caused you to sin. Did HE literally mean to go to this extent? Some scholars say no. JESUS used the example to emphasize the importance and extent a person should go to control his/her thought life to avoid adultery or murder.

In essence, adultery is the murder of a relationship. Can it be over come? Yes, with the offending spouse being completely faithful and building trust. The offended spouse must forgive and be willing to work to rebuild their marriage. To me, the offended spouse exhibits agape love that can only come from CHRIST and the indwelling HOLY SPIRIT.

My brother-in-law told of a man he knew that had the surgeon castrate him because he could not control his emotions. When the man was asked why he had this done, he quoted this scripture as his reason for taking such a drastic step.

Let’s read Proverbs 5:15-21:

15 Drink water from your own cistern, water flowing from your own well.[9] Sg 4:12,15 16 Should your springs flow in the streets, streams of water in the public squares?[10] Pr 7:12 17 They should be for you alone and not for you [to share]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. with strangers. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth.[11] Mal 2:14 19 A loving doe, a graceful fawn— let her breasts always satisfy you; be lost in her love forever. 20 Why, my son, would you be infatuated with a forbidden woman or embrace the breast of a stranger? 21 For a man’s ways are before the Lord’s eyes, and He considers all his paths.[12] Pr 4:25–26

The Book of Proverbs contains many metaphors thus we cannot be absolute in fully understanding it. S o we will not zero in on specific words but consider the message being conveyed.

In the Book of Proverbs, we see a father, King Solomon, instructing his son in matters of sex. He was telling his son in his youth rather than waiting until the son had some age on him. The words of wisdom were to keep the son from getting into trouble.

The father was telling his son that when you marry be faithful to your wife throughout your marriage. You are not to share her or yourself with anyone else. Remain sexually pure to each other, maintain the love and desire for each other throughout your married life. May your wife always be the one you lust after and stay away from forbidden women. Water was critical and vital to sustain life for the individual as well as the family. It was considered a crime to steal water from another’s well, therefore, Solomon instructed his son to drink from his own well. This was a metaphor to mean, it is a sin or considered stealing to have sex with another person’s spouse.

Some scholars interpret verse 16 as a caution to his son. In essence, he was saying, “If you get the notion of chasing after other women and you are married, don’t.” In verse 17, the words “for you” likely refer to the wife of his youth. Only have eyes and thoughts for the wife of your youth. This is why couples must be so careful in choosing their mate.

The father ended his instruction by telling his son to keep in mind that GOD never slumbers or sleeps. GOD will always see what he is doing both physically and what he is thinking. Honor GOD by being faithful to your wife because unfaithfulness shows that your heart is not right before GOD and dishonors your wife. The two go together.

Let’s read Proverbs 6:25-32:

25 Don’t lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyelashes. 26 For a prostitute’s fee is only a loaf of bread,[28] Or On account of a prostitute, [one is left with] only a loaf of bread but an adulteress[29] Lit but a wife of a man goes after [your]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. very life.[30] Pr 2:18–19; 7:21–23,27; 23:27–28 27 Can a man embrace fire[31] Lit man take fire to his bosom and his clothes not be burned? 28 Can a man walk on coals without scorching his feet? 29 So it is with the one who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. 30 People don’t despise the thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry. 31 Still, if caught, he must pay seven times as much; he must give up all the wealth in his house.[32] Sg 8:7 32 The one who commits adultery[33] Lit commits adultery with a woman lacks sense; whoever does so destroys himself.

We continue in the Book of Proverbs. Solomon has instructed his son about marriage and now he is instructing him about maintaining his marriage by being faithful to his wife. In essence the father was saying, “There will be other women who will try to lure you into their clutches. Women like to be attractive and like to be noticed and seen for their beauty and charm. The grass may look greener on the other side of the fence but it is not. It is a trap that will result in all sorts of trouble. If you yield to it, it will destroy you. So keep your eyes focused on your wife. Let your lust be for your wife by keeping the home fire burning.”

Again, the focus is on the heart/mind and the emphasis is on lust. When a person’s lust has taken root in his/her heart, whether male or female, his/her defenses are already compromised. The barrier of faithfulness is vulnerable. The right circumstances and there is a good chance the barrier of faithfulness will be broken. Once the barrier is broken Satan takes over and floods your life with an adulterous affair. Satan wants it to result in as many people as possible getting hurt. It results in a wound that always leaves a scare for all to remember.

This scripture compares a prostitute, who can also be an adulteress to a woman married to someone else who is also considered an adulteress. There is no commitment to the prostitute. You pay for her services with a loaf of bread, whereas, it will cost you dearly when you get involved with a married woman (an adulteress).
The father, in essence, was saying, “Son when you get involved with a married woman (an adulteress), you are dealing with fire and you will get burned. So don’t even think about it! A person may steal because he/she or their family is hungry. If caught he/she will have to pay for the crime sevenfold and possibly lose everything. But the stigma attached to stealing because you are hungry is much less than the stigma attached to you when you have an affair. You have a wife; therefore, your sexual needs can be met. You are in a covenant relationship with her as witnessed by GOD. You have your own well to drink from. When you have an affair you are being very foolish and no one will take pity on you. Build a relationship with your wife, just as you would build your relationship with GOD and lust after her, desire her but do not lust (desire) after someone else’s wife. Lust is coveting or desiring something that is not yours, which is sin.”

Men or women remain sexually pure. If you find that you are lusting or coveting another person’s spouse, fill your mind and heart with GOD’S Word, confess it to HIM and ask for HIS help and strength. Seek wise counsel and remain committed to your spouse at all costs. If you do not it may cost you the equivalent of an eye or your hand. Get away from the temptation.

Remain faithful!!!

Marriage - To Love and Cherish - Eph. 5 and 1 Peter 3 - May 16, 2009

Bible Study – Marriage – To Love and to Cherish – May 16, 2010

This is lesson three (3) in our series “I Still DO.”

Our scripture is Ephesians 5:21-33; 1 Peter 3:7.

This lesson deals with the sensitive subject of submission. I remember as a young person the women in church dreaded when the pastor preached on “Wives be submissive to your husbands.” Being raised in what I call the male chauvinist period, the preacher usually preached from the male point-of-view. Some pastors would include the importance of husbands loving and caring for their wives. The problem was how did the men define love?

As Christians, we are submissive to CHRIST. However, Christians are not forced to be submissive to CHRIST but it is out of love, a realization of what HE has done for them and respect, they willingly submit to CHRIST. This was the idea the Apostle Paul was trying to convey in his message to the Ephesians. But this was a period when women had the status of cattle.

In my opinion, the key is for the married male and female to have a loving relationship with CHRIST. When they are in the right relationship with CHRIST, they will be in right relationship with each other. This does not mean it will be a perfect relationship but it will be a relationship based on trust, openness, discussion, working together and respect for each other. It is a relationship built on the solid foundation of CHRIST.

As you may recall in an earlier lesson when GOD made Eve HE took her from Adam’s side and made her. As individuals both are incomplete. GOD took a body part from the side of Adam to make Eve. GOD intended for female mates to come along the side of their mates as their help mate in marriage to make them complete. GOD took part of Adam to make Eve because GOD intended for Adam to love Eve as he loved himself. GOD intended their relationship to be eternal in this ideal world which was broken when they disobeyed GOD and sinned. So in a sinful world GOD’S ideal is difficult to achieve without both marriage partners being equally yoked with CHRIST through a loving, intimate relationship.

Let’s read Ephesians 5:21-24:

21 submitting to one another in the fear of Christ.[7] Col 3:16–17
Wives and Husbands
22 Wives, submit[8] Other mss omit submit [9] Gn 3:16; 1 Co 11:3,7–9,11–12; Col 3:18; Ti 2:4–5; 1 Pt 3:1–6 to your own husbands as to the Lord, 23 for the husband is head of the wife as also Christ is head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so wives should [submit]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. to their husbands in everything.

In verse 21, the Apostle Paul gave the heart of submitting to each other in a marriage relationship. It was submitting to one another “in the fear/reverence of CHRIST.” This clearly points to the need for marriage partner to be in a relationship with CHRIST. This is why a couple should only consider marriage if they are equally yoked as Christians.

One potential partner may tell his/her future mate that he/she is a Christian. The key is do they understand what it means to be a Christian? Some believe if they were born to Christian parents they are Christian. Or they attend church and that makes them Christian. Or they say the blessing before they eat or read the Bible or pray and that makes them Christian. CHRIST in you makes you a Christian and nothing else. A person cannot be good enough to earn Christian status. It is asking CHRIST to forgive you of your sins and asking HIM to come into your life. Then it is obediently living for HIM and building a relationship with HIM. CHRIST needs to be your very best friend, who knows all about you. HE already does so tell HIM. You need to release all your cares and concerns into HIS hands. Then talk about them in prayer.

Unfortunately people can fain the Christian life. They can know the Christian jargon. But by their fruit you will know them. When you consider a marriage relationship, pray and ask others to support you in prayer for GOD to give you discernment to know the truth regarding your potential marriage partner. Then listen and pay attention!!!

In the original Greek text Paul did not use the word “submit” in verse 22. Instead Paul wrote “The wives to their own husbands as to the LORD.” The word “submit” was used in verse 21 and carries the idea of continuous action. Paul was making it clear that women were not to submit to all men but only to their husbands. Again, the idea of submitting to each other is a continuous action and suggests a free choice and free will. Again, it is tied to the respect and reverence a person has for CHRIST.

Paul made it clear that in the ideal marriage the husband was the head of the wife as CHRIST is the head of the church. Some men may say “Yea!” Just know that CHRIST gave HIS life for the church. The example was that the husband was to so love his wife that he would give his life for her, as I believe most men or women would do.

Ideally the submission of wives to their husbands was based upon their husband’s right relationship to CHRIST. Husbands, this means that GOD is your example. That is a tall order and without the right relationship with CHRIST it is impossible. This makes me cringe.

Let’s read Ephesians 5:25-30:

25 Husbands, love your wives,[10] Col 3:19; 1 Pt 3:7 just as also Christ loved the church and gave Himself for her, 26 to make her holy, cleansing[11] Or having cleansed her in the washing of water by the word. 27 He did this to present the church to Himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but holy and blameless. 28 In the same way, husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one ever hates his own flesh, but provides and cares for it, just as Christ does for the church, 30 since we are members of His body.[12] Other mss add and of His flesh and of His bones

Paul challenged Christians to love their wives and treat them with respect just as CHRIST loved the church. This is not the brick and mortar church but the living church made of living stones. The Greek word Paul used for love is “agape”, which is the love CHRIST has for us. It is a self-giving love that demands nothing in return. CHRIST did this to present the body of believers to Himself without spot or wrinkle. Washing her with the Word of GOD to produce a body of believers pure and Holy.

“Washing with the Word of GOD” is a beautiful statement. When we as individuals or married partners, wash our lives with the Word of GOD, it cleanses us of our selfish and self centered motivations. Washing your life in the Word of GOD removes the dirt and grime of unspiritual things and false spiritual notions that are in our lives. It removes a barrier and creates a heart obedient to GOD to serve HIM in both marriage and life.

If we men would love our wives in this way, I know some would say, “They would be spoiled.” But the point is that our marriage relationship is a mutual partnership with each looking out for the good of our marriage partner. CHRIST is already perfect and HIS work is to perfect those who become Christians into HIS image. I can hear some women saying, “Well my husband thinks he is already perfect.” Again, this is why each marriage partner must have the right relationship with CHRIST. When they are in right relationship with GOD, they will have the right attitude and relationship toward loving their marriage partner with self-giving love. This is a quid pro quo relationship produced by mutual love and respect for each other.

Paul comes back to what we have been studying in Genesis. Men love your wives as you love your own body. This was the original intent of GOD. This can only happen when you are equally yoked. Flesh relationships will not last. Covenant relationships built upon the foundation of CHRIST last through thick and thin. Think about GOD’S covenant relationship with HIS people.

Christians are born into GOD’S family through the miracle of rebirth. In marriage, the male and female become one with each other in the mystery of marriage. When they are equally yoked in CHRIST, they are one with CHRIST as they are one with each other.

Let’s read Ephesians 5:31-33; 1 Peter 3:7:

31 For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.[13] Gn 2:24 32 This • mystery is profound, but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33 To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.

Verse 31 is a quotation of Genesis 2:24, which is a mystery. A heavenly mystery can only be understood as revealed by GOD. It is a mystery how two people, male and female, will become one flesh when they come together sexually. This was GOD’S plan from the beginning when HE took a body part from Adam to make Eve. Sex between a male and female married couple is ordained by GOD for the purpose of expressing their ultimate love for each other and for the purpose of producing children - raising them in a Christian home, teaching them GOD'S Word, living obedient Christian lives befroe their children and presenting CHRIST to them. This is not to force the gospel down thier throats but to love them and guide them. GOD’S intent was for the married couple to remain together for life.

Today, it is sad to say, we have about as many Christian married couples divorcing as non-Christian married couples. Sin and hardness of the heart are still some of the major reasons for divorce. Does this mean that someone who has divorced is doomed forever? NO!!! There are many reasons why couple’s divorce. Many go to counseling to try to work things out but the couple has become unequally yoked. Some are unwilling to try to work things out. GOD forgives and restores. I know a number of happily divorced and remarried Christian couples who are obediently serving our LORD.

Husbands you are to agape (Love that is self-giving and which does not require anything in exchange.) your wife. Women you are to respect your husbands. Notice the order, first the husband is to set the example of loving his wife. The wife responds to his love by respecting him. This produces harmony in the relationship and is the foundation upon which a marriage can be built. Every marriage gives the opportunity for love. Marriage is a growth and maturing experience. Both partners must pull together.

The Apostle Peter in our next scripture wrote about marriage.

1 Peter 3:7:

7 Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with understanding of their weaker nature[6] Lit understanding as the weaker vessel yet showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

In verse 7, the Apostle Peter used the term “in the same way.” What was he referring to? The statement simply means “next.” This follows a list of people who were to be submissive as CHRIST obediently submitted to GOD. CHRIST had no sin yet HE willingly suffered at the hands of those in earthly authority to obediently serve GOD.
We have to be careful. This is not submitting to someone directing us to disobey GOD’S commands. Peter was coming from the point-of-view that when a woman was married to a non-Christian man, what should they do. Peter was saying let CHRIST show through their life with the hopes of influencing their mate to accept CHRIST as his/her SAVIOR.

The Apostle Peter was telling his readers to understand that the woman was physically weaker than the male. Because the woman was weaker did not mean that the male could take advantage of her. The male was to honor the female because GOD did not show a difference between them. CHRIST died for both male and female and both come to salvation by way of the cross. GOD does not tolerate the male mistreating the female. If the male mistreats the female, it blocks the prayers of the male marriage partner. GOD holds man accountable. It is all about the attitude of the heart. I believe the same is true when the female mistreats the male in marriage. It is spiritual heart trouble.

GOD’S intent is for the male to be head of the household – spiritually and authoritatively. The male is to be the spiritual leader. The male is to explain GOD’S word to his wife and children. The male is to be the example. In most households the woman is the spiritual leader.

GOD considered marriage sacred from the beginning. GOD considers male and female as co-equals. Both are accountable to GOD for their actions. The male is not to dominate the female and neither is the female to dominate the male. Marriage is not to be entered into lightly.

Living together will not help either. My wife and I have friends who lived together for several years. He helped her around the house and she could do no wrong. Her comment was, “When they said “I do”, he changed.” They had to work on some problems. But I am happy to report they are still married after many years.

Men and women love your spouse. As you build your relationship with CHRIST build it with each other through the washing of your lives in the Word of GOD.

Marriage - I Take You - Genesis 2, Malachi 2, Matthew 19 - May 9, 2010

Bible Study – Marriage – “I Take You” – May 9, 2010

This is lesson two (2) in our series “I Still Do.”

Our scripture is Genesis 2:23-25; Malachi 2:13-15; Matthew 19:3-12.

Men, why is it important that you love your wife? The Apostle Peter gave us one answer.

1 Peter 3:7:

7 Husbands, in the same way, live with your wives with understanding of their weaker nature[6] Lit understanding as the weaker vessel yet showing them honor as co-heirs of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.

Men, do you want to be a man of prayer and a prayer warrior? Then one key ingredient is to love your wife and honor her. There is a relationship between our marriage and our relationship with GOD.

GOD made a suitable mate for man by taking a body part from him. Adam was just waking up from the deep sleep GOD had put him into to remove his body part to make Eve when GOD brought her to him. Just as fathers present their daughters to their groom, GOD presented Eve to her groom. Adam was seeing his new mate for the first time. Here was his response.

Let’s read Genesis 2:23-25:

23 And the man said: This one, at last, is bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh; this one will be called woman, for she was taken from man.[22] Eph 5:28–30 24 This is why a man leaves his father and mother and bonds with his wife, and they become one flesh.[23] Mal 2:15 25 Both the man and his wife were naked, yet felt no shame.
This to me is a precious moment. In our last lesson we considered GOD’S formation of man and HIM taking a body part from Adam to make Eve because a suitable helpmate could not be found for Adam. GOD caused a deep sleep to come over Adam and GOD made Eve. Adam awakens and GOD showed him what HE had made for him. GOD, THE FATHER presented Eve to Adam. Fathers still present their daughters to their husbands, when possible. Grooms still find their brides amazing just as when GOD presented Eve to Adam. Adam’s eyes blared wide open and he in essence exclaimed “WOW!!!” this is what I have been looking for and wanting. I just did not know it. She is bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh.

Who loves us more than any other human besides our parents? We love ourselves. Adam views a piece of himself fashioned into a female body and it was love at first sight. This is GOD’S ideal for one’s spouse. We are one in the flesh and we need to treat our spouses as we would treat our own flesh.

Adam had named all the animals and now he named GOD’S final masterpiece woman
because she was taken from him.

We can question, if Eve was taken from Adam would their DNA be the same? Isn’t that a problem? Here is what came to mind when I raised this question - We need to keep in mind that this occurred before sin and decay came into the world. The world was in a pristine state; therefore, different reproductive dynamics were in effect which makes sense to me. The point is that GOD took care of what needed to be taken care in order to produce and reproduce mankind through marriage. GOD does not make junk.

Because GOD took a body part from Adam to make Eve, GOD’S plan was for the two parts to come back together in a bond of love through marriage to become completed as one. GOD intended for males and females through the mystery of marriage to become one body in harmony and unity with each other and with GOD.

They realized that they were naked but were not ashamed. Being naked was natural because we are not embarrassed when we see our naked body. Since the bond of marriage produces one, seeing our mate naked is the same as viewing our own body. The Bible also tells us that our body belongs to our spouse and our spouse’s body belongs to us in 1 Corinthians 7:4:

4 A wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does. Equally, a husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does.

I know where some men’s minds are going with this but keep in mind that you are to respect your wife and consider her. By the same token ladies consider your husband’s needs. Talk to each other and come to a mutual understanding of each other’s needs.

Let’s go to the Old Testament to see the relationship of marriage and its influence on a person’s relationship with GOD.

Let’s read Malachi 2:13-15:

13 And this is another thing you do: you cover the Lord’s altar with tears, with weeping and groaning, because He no longer respects your offerings or receives [them]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. gladly[18] 1 Kg 8:28–30; Isa 56:7 from your hands. 14 Yet you ask, “For what reason?” Because the Lord witnessed the covenant you made with the wife of your youth. You have acted treacherously against her,[19] Pr 2:16–17; Isa 54:6 though she was your marriage partner and your wife by covenant. 15 Didn’t the one [God]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. make [us]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. with a remnant of His life-breath? And what does the One seek?[20] Or Did the One not make them? So their flesh and spirit belong to Him, or No one who does this even has a remnant of the Spirit in him; Hb obscure A godly • offspring. So watch yourselves carefully,[21] Lit So guard yourselves in your spirit and do not act treacherously against the wife of your youth.

The prophet Malachi was the last Old Testament Prophet, about 430 B.C. The temple in Jerusalem had been rebuilt for about 100 years but the people were losing their interest in worship. The people’s lack of interest in worship was compounded by the fact that the priests had developed a casual attitude toward GOD. It appears that both the people and the priests had become apathetic and disillusioned about the coming of the promised Messiah. The Messianic prophesies given by GOD through the prophets Isaiah, Jeremiah and Micah had not been fulfilled. The people in essence had given up on GOD sending them the promised Messiah and had become apathetic.
Also, living in the same area were people of other cultures and religions. The Jewish men began being unfaithful to their wives, divorcing their wives and marrying the pagan women. First, this broke covenant with the wives of their youth and with GOD. Second, this mixed culture/religious arrangement compromised the way any offspring produced from these pagan relationships would be raised to honor the one true GOD. This was vital for the future of the Jewish people because it was during a time when GOD was bringing HIS people back to rebuild Jerusalem and their relationship to HIM. They had been in exile because of their disobedience and had repented and were rebuilding their lives but now they going astray. GOD would punish those who were compromising their relationship with HIM.

Malachi was a messenger of GOD. HIS message through Malachi was “I have loved you!” “But you ask, ‘How have YOU loved us?’ The Israelites wanted to know why GOD had turned HIS back on them and was rejecting their offerings. It was because the people had hardened their hearts such that they could not see their own sin. They had hardened their hearts toward GOD and were disobeying HIS commands about marriage. They were breaking covenant with the wives of their youth and with GOD.

They had a spiritual heart problem.

The Prophet Malachi gave the people the words of GOD. Malachi 2:10-12 helps us see the main problem with the Israelites:

10 Don’t all of us have one Father?[9] Mal 1:6; Isa 63:16; Hs 11:1 Didn’t one God create us?[10] Dt 32:6; Isa 43:1–7; 64:8 Why then do we act treacherously against one another, profaning the covenant of our fathers?[11] Mal 1:12; Ps 55:20; 89:34 11 Judah has acted treacherously, and a detestable thing has been done in Israel and in Jerusalem. For Judah has profaned the Lord’s sanctuary,[12] Or profaned what is holy to the Lord [13] Ezk 44:7 which He loves, and has married the daughter of a foreign god.[14] = a woman who worshiped a foreign god; Nm 21:29 [15] Dt 7:3–4; Ezr 9:1–2,10–14; Neh 13:23–30 12 To the man who does this, may the Lord cut off any descendants[16] One Hb ms, LXX, DSS read off one witnessing or answering [17] Lit off one waking or answering; Hb obscure from the tents of Jacob, even if they present an offering to the Lord of Hosts.

The people had sinned against GOD by marrying foreign women, who worshipped other gods. The men had compromised themselves with GOD. They were still coming to the temple and giving an offering but their hearts were not pure before GOD and GOD was rejecting their offering. They could not understand why GOD was rejecting them and their offering. They were crying over the altar because they did not understand. But all of their crying did not change their hard hearts. They wanted to do things their way.

GOD made it clear that it was all about how they were treating the wives of their youth. They broke covenant with the wife of their youth and by doing so they also broke covenant with GOD.

You often hear men say in mid-life crisis that they have found their soul mate or GOD brought us together. These are Satan’s lies. GOD’S desire is for you to remain with the wife of your youth and work through this time in your life or the life of your wife. Will it be easy? NO!!! But with GOD’S help, HE will help you get through it and it will be well worth the effort because your original marriage may end up stronger than ever. You may think that this soul mate relationship is wonderful but wait until the new wears off and you deal with a blended family and its complications. I know there are exceptions to all situations. But I know a number of men with whom I have spoken have said, “I wish I had never left my first wife.” Again, there are exceptions.

Men or women do not place yourselves in situations where you can yield to temptation if the opportunity presents itself. If you find yourself in such a situation, then run to safety. It is not worth the moment and can lead to breaking barriers that compromise your values and relationship with GOD. Your relationship with GOD can be restored much easier than with your spouse. GOD forgets the sins that we confess and buries them in deepest part of the sea but your spouse is another matter and rightfully so because he/she has been cut to the bone.

The Book of Hosea is a classic example of the covenant relationship between GOD and HIS chosen people. GOD used the marriage of the Prophet Hosea to Gomer to illustrate HIS covenant relationship with the Israelites. GOD wanted to give the Israelites an example to show the extent of HIS love for HIS chosen people. This includes Christians today. It shows the extent of GOD’S love and the extent HE will go to for our sake or the sake of a nation in covenant with HIM.

GOD is faithful in honoring a covenant with HIS people. Covenant means an oath-bound promise or a binding relationship. GOD’S message through the Prophet Hosea was that GOD honors HIS covenant with HIS people regardless of what HIS people do. HE may punish them for being disobedient but HE never leaves them or forsakes them.

This is HIS expectation for marriage because it is a covenant relationship between male and female as witnessed by GOD.

Let’s read Matthew 19:3-12:

3 Some • Pharisees approached Him to test Him. They asked, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?” 4 “Haven’t you read,” He replied, “that He who created[1] Other mss read made them in the beginning made them male and female,[2] Gn 1:27; 5:2 5 and He also said: For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two will become one flesh?[3] Gn 2:24 6 So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, man must not separate.” 7 “Why then,” they asked Him, “did Moses command [us]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. to give divorce papers and to send her away?” 8 He told them, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because of the hardness of your hearts. But it was not like that from the beginning. 9 And I tell you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.”[4] Other mss add Also whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery; Mt 5:32 10 His disciples said to Him, “If the relationship of a man with his wife is like this, it’s better not to marry!” 11 But He told them, “Not everyone can accept this saying, but only those it has been given to. 12 For there are eunuchs who were born that way from their mother’s womb, there are eunuchs who were made by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves that way because of the kingdom of heaven. Let anyone accept this who can.”

JESUS was getting close to the last days of HIS earthly ministry. The Pharisees were trying to trap HIM by asking HIM a question regarding divorce.

There were two (2) schools of thought regarding divorce based upon Deuteronomy 24:1:

1 “If a man marries a woman, but she becomes displeasing to him because he finds something improper about her, he may write her a divorce certificate, hand it to her, and send her away from his house.

There were two (2) important Jewish teachers with two (2) different teachings on divorce based upon their interpretation of the words “something improper.” The Jewish teacher Hillel taught that “something improper” meant almost anything displeasing to the husband, such as burning the toast or not making the bed properly, was grounds for divorce. The other Jewish teacher Shammai taught that “something improper” was adultery. The basis for his teaching came from the fact the Hebrew phrase “something improper” means “matter of nakedness.” Thus, he concluded that the phrase referred to adultery as the only reason for divorce.

Guess which teacher most Jewish males liked? Of course, it was Hillel. The Pharisees asked JESUS the question “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife on any grounds?” In other words, who do YOU support Hillel or Shammai. If HE answered the question supporting either teacher, HE would offend one of the groups who followed one of the teachers.

JESUS goes back to Genesis. GOD made one man and one woman. GOD did not make one male and several females with the intent of being united in marriage for the purpose of reproducing. GOD intended for them to be united as one in a covenant relationship. This was before Adam and Eve sinned, therefore, HIS original intent was for them to be together for all eternity. When sin came into earth, so did death. Does that mean that we will be married in heaven? JESUS answered that question in

Matthew 22:29-30:

29 Jesus answered them, “You are deceived, because you don’t know the Scriptures or the power of God. 30 For in the resurrection they neither marry nor are given in marriage but are like[9] Other mss add God’s angels in heaven.

The Pharisees posed another question based upon JESUS’ answer. In essence, the Pharisees were saying, “If GOD intended for a couple to be married forever, why did Moses, GOD’S right hand man, permit divorce?” JESUS went to heart of the matter. The people had a spiritual heart problem with GOD and with the relationship they had with their wives. JESUS turned the tables on the men. You can turn your wife out for frivolous things, if you choose but GOD will consider it adultery when you marry another woman. If your wife has been unfaithful to you then you have grounds to consider divorce. The Greek word used for “sexual morality” is “porneia” which means every kind of unlawful sexual intercourse and includes incest, homosexuality, prostitution and molestation.

JESUS’ disciples were listening to what JESUS was telling the Pharisees. Their thoughts were, “Gee, maybe men should not marry.” JESUS said that was a consideration but the person choosing not to marry should consider whether or not he/she would be able to hold out because of their hormones and sexual desires.
JESUS implied that GOD can lead some men or women into a life of celibacy. When GOD calls a person to celibacy, HE gives him/her the power to endure. If you can be dedicated to GOD, serve HIM and not burn with desire, then do not marry. However, if you find yourself climbing the walls, then you need to marry. But be careful in choosing your mate because GOD intends for marriage to be for life.

JESUS speaks of eunuchs. The Greek word for eunuch means an “emasculated man.” It includes those who are perfectly capable of marriage and sexual relations but they choose to refrain. Some eunuchs are born eunuchs because they are impotent from birth. Some are made eunuchs by being castrated by man. Some have made themselves eunuchs either by being castrated or choosing to remain celibate.
JESUS agreed with marriage or for a person to remain single. There are responsibilities and expectations for either choice.

The Apostle Paul addressed the struggle a married person has over a single person when it comes to obediently serving the LORD. In 1 Corinthians 7:32-35:
32 I want you to be without concerns. An unmarried man is concerned about the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the things of the world—how he may please his wife— 34 and he is divided. An unmarried woman or a virgin is concerned about the things of the Lord, so that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. 35 Now I am saying this for your own benefit, not to put a restraint on you, but because of what is proper, and so that you may be devoted to the Lord without distraction.

When GOD formed Adam and made Eve from a body part of Adam HE separated them. Adam had a missing part. Through the mystery of marriage when men and women come together in marriage, they are reunited into one. Men and women, it is vital that you seek GOD’S guidance in choosing your mate. Living together for a trial run is not the answer. Having sex outside of marriage is not the answer because you run the risk of having a child or children and then you may be forced into a marriage. Women, why do you think you have to jump in bed with a guy you hardly know and run the risk of a sexually transmitted disease and/or getting pregnant? I know it is competition with those who are promiscuous. They think if they don’t have sex the guy will move on to another and he probably will. Then, I ask you, is that love? Or is it lust and notches on the wall of his mind? Fantastic sex is not what makes a marriage.
If you have ended up in a bad situation, GOD forgives when you repent and ask HIM to forgive you. Just remember repentance means to stop doing what you are doing and follow GOD through a new life in CHRIST. GOD can take a bad marriage and help both of you make it into a good marriage. But allow HIM to do the rebuilding through each of you as you build a loving, intimate relationship with HIM. As each of you is drawn closer to HIM, you will draw closer to each other. Allow CHRIST to be the head of your household.

Just keep in mind that even when CHRIST is the head of your household, you cannot park your brain. You must work together to build your marriage as you both seek the fullness of HIM in your lives. Communicate with each other and work together keeping in mind to care for your mate as you would your own body because your mate’s body belongs to you and is your responsibility.

This is why you must not be unequally yoked spiritually. Christians must marry Christians. The sad thing is that there are as many Christian divorces as there are non-Christian divorces. Why? Could it be that our hearts are hard toward GOD and we have become disillusioned with being a Christian?

I know there are bad situations even in Christian marriages. And there are times that divorce is the right thing to do. But GOD’S ideal is for marriage to be until death do us part. Blessings to all who are struggling with decisions to marry, divorce or whatever the situation may be. May our LORD reveal the path HE wants you to take.

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY TO ALL THE MOTHERS AND FUTURE MOTHERS - BLESSINGS