Marriage - I Pledge You My Faithfulness - Matthew 5 and Proverbs 5 and 6 - May 23, 1020

Bible Study – Marriage – I Pledge You My Faithfulness – May 23, 2010

This is study four (4) in our series “I Still Do.”

Our scripture is Matthew 5:27-30; Proverbs 5:15-21; 6:25-32.

Our study this week focuses on faithfulness in marriage.

Unfaithfulness in any relationship is devastating, especially in marriage and more especially when children are involved. The offended parties have been betrayed and embarrassed because they feel that others have known about the infidelity and they have been in the dark. It is humiliating for the betrayed spouse.

In our study we will see that JESUS took adultery to another level. Why? Because HE knew that such offenses, as adultery and murder, begin in the minds and hearts of people. The mind is ground zero. This is where Satan works. HE also knew that the religious leaders and teachers considered the physical act as being sin. They did not consider the act of adultery and murder as beginning in the mind and heart. HE wanted HIS hearers to consider the spirit of GOD’S commands and not just the letter of the commands.

Let’s read Matthew 5:27-30: (JESUS is speaking.)

27 “You have heard that it was said, Do not commit adultery.[12] Ex 20:14; Dt 5:18 28 But I tell you, everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. 29 If your right eye • causes you to sin, gouge it out and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. 30 And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. For it is better that you lose one of the parts of your body than for your whole body to go into hell!

This was JESUS’ Sermon on the Mount or also known as the Beatitudes. JESUS was speaking to the people, the religious leaders who prided themselves on being pure and HIS disciples. HE brought the self-righteous halos of the religious leaders and teachers from around their heads to around their feet with HIS statement in this scripture. The religious leaders taught that the physical act of adultery was all that counted as sin and accountable to GOD. Thinking such acts in their minds was not considered sinful. JESUS made it clear that there was the letter of the law and the spirit of the law. If a person lusted after a woman it was the same as committing adultery in his heart. Most marriage partners would agree that it is easier to deal with adultery of the heart than physical adultery.

The point being that the mind and heart is where it all begins – murder, taking that first drink, doing drugs, looking at pornography, robbing and the list goes on and on. Breaking moral barriers begin in the mind. JESUS was saying guard your hearts and minds at all costs. This is where our relationship with CHRIST is critical. Some people may need an accountability friend or group to help them if they are considering things they know to be wrong or that may lead you into an addictive or devastating lifestyles. Admitting that we have a tendency toward a lifestyle that most of society rejects is very difficult. This is where Christian counseling may be helpful if you can be honest with your counselor about an issue with which you are struggling.
Did JESUS consider the thoughts of the mind and heart serious? I will let you decide. In essence HE said, if looking at a woman in a lustful manner results in you sinning, then pluck out your right eye. Why the right eye? Right handed people, especially men, use their right eye to aim a weapon. The right eye was considered a person’s most important eye. Likewise, if your hand gets you into trouble, then cut it off. Again, JESUS referred to the right hand because it was the hand most important to a man to defend himself and important for him to earn a living. A right handed person would hold his sword in his right hand or use a hammer or use a saw, etc.

Then JESUS said to do likewise with any other body part that caused you to sin. Did HE literally mean to go to this extent? Some scholars say no. JESUS used the example to emphasize the importance and extent a person should go to control his/her thought life to avoid adultery or murder.

In essence, adultery is the murder of a relationship. Can it be over come? Yes, with the offending spouse being completely faithful and building trust. The offended spouse must forgive and be willing to work to rebuild their marriage. To me, the offended spouse exhibits agape love that can only come from CHRIST and the indwelling HOLY SPIRIT.

My brother-in-law told of a man he knew that had the surgeon castrate him because he could not control his emotions. When the man was asked why he had this done, he quoted this scripture as his reason for taking such a drastic step.

Let’s read Proverbs 5:15-21:

15 Drink water from your own cistern, water flowing from your own well.[9] Sg 4:12,15 16 Should your springs flow in the streets, streams of water in the public squares?[10] Pr 7:12 17 They should be for you alone and not for you [to share]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. with strangers. 18 Let your fountain be blessed, and take pleasure in the wife of your youth.[11] Mal 2:14 19 A loving doe, a graceful fawn— let her breasts always satisfy you; be lost in her love forever. 20 Why, my son, would you be infatuated with a forbidden woman or embrace the breast of a stranger? 21 For a man’s ways are before the Lord’s eyes, and He considers all his paths.[12] Pr 4:25–26

The Book of Proverbs contains many metaphors thus we cannot be absolute in fully understanding it. S o we will not zero in on specific words but consider the message being conveyed.

In the Book of Proverbs, we see a father, King Solomon, instructing his son in matters of sex. He was telling his son in his youth rather than waiting until the son had some age on him. The words of wisdom were to keep the son from getting into trouble.

The father was telling his son that when you marry be faithful to your wife throughout your marriage. You are not to share her or yourself with anyone else. Remain sexually pure to each other, maintain the love and desire for each other throughout your married life. May your wife always be the one you lust after and stay away from forbidden women. Water was critical and vital to sustain life for the individual as well as the family. It was considered a crime to steal water from another’s well, therefore, Solomon instructed his son to drink from his own well. This was a metaphor to mean, it is a sin or considered stealing to have sex with another person’s spouse.

Some scholars interpret verse 16 as a caution to his son. In essence, he was saying, “If you get the notion of chasing after other women and you are married, don’t.” In verse 17, the words “for you” likely refer to the wife of his youth. Only have eyes and thoughts for the wife of your youth. This is why couples must be so careful in choosing their mate.

The father ended his instruction by telling his son to keep in mind that GOD never slumbers or sleeps. GOD will always see what he is doing both physically and what he is thinking. Honor GOD by being faithful to your wife because unfaithfulness shows that your heart is not right before GOD and dishonors your wife. The two go together.

Let’s read Proverbs 6:25-32:

25 Don’t lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyelashes. 26 For a prostitute’s fee is only a loaf of bread,[28] Or On account of a prostitute, [one is left with] only a loaf of bread but an adulteress[29] Lit but a wife of a man goes after [your]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. very life.[30] Pr 2:18–19; 7:21–23,27; 23:27–28 27 Can a man embrace fire[31] Lit man take fire to his bosom and his clothes not be burned? 28 Can a man walk on coals without scorching his feet? 29 So it is with the one who sleeps with another man’s wife; no one who touches her will go unpunished. 30 People don’t despise the thief if he steals to satisfy himself when he is hungry. 31 Still, if caught, he must pay seven times as much; he must give up all the wealth in his house.[32] Sg 8:7 32 The one who commits adultery[33] Lit commits adultery with a woman lacks sense; whoever does so destroys himself.

We continue in the Book of Proverbs. Solomon has instructed his son about marriage and now he is instructing him about maintaining his marriage by being faithful to his wife. In essence the father was saying, “There will be other women who will try to lure you into their clutches. Women like to be attractive and like to be noticed and seen for their beauty and charm. The grass may look greener on the other side of the fence but it is not. It is a trap that will result in all sorts of trouble. If you yield to it, it will destroy you. So keep your eyes focused on your wife. Let your lust be for your wife by keeping the home fire burning.”

Again, the focus is on the heart/mind and the emphasis is on lust. When a person’s lust has taken root in his/her heart, whether male or female, his/her defenses are already compromised. The barrier of faithfulness is vulnerable. The right circumstances and there is a good chance the barrier of faithfulness will be broken. Once the barrier is broken Satan takes over and floods your life with an adulterous affair. Satan wants it to result in as many people as possible getting hurt. It results in a wound that always leaves a scare for all to remember.

This scripture compares a prostitute, who can also be an adulteress to a woman married to someone else who is also considered an adulteress. There is no commitment to the prostitute. You pay for her services with a loaf of bread, whereas, it will cost you dearly when you get involved with a married woman (an adulteress).
The father, in essence, was saying, “Son when you get involved with a married woman (an adulteress), you are dealing with fire and you will get burned. So don’t even think about it! A person may steal because he/she or their family is hungry. If caught he/she will have to pay for the crime sevenfold and possibly lose everything. But the stigma attached to stealing because you are hungry is much less than the stigma attached to you when you have an affair. You have a wife; therefore, your sexual needs can be met. You are in a covenant relationship with her as witnessed by GOD. You have your own well to drink from. When you have an affair you are being very foolish and no one will take pity on you. Build a relationship with your wife, just as you would build your relationship with GOD and lust after her, desire her but do not lust (desire) after someone else’s wife. Lust is coveting or desiring something that is not yours, which is sin.”

Men or women remain sexually pure. If you find that you are lusting or coveting another person’s spouse, fill your mind and heart with GOD’S Word, confess it to HIM and ask for HIS help and strength. Seek wise counsel and remain committed to your spouse at all costs. If you do not it may cost you the equivalent of an eye or your hand. Get away from the temptation.

Remain faithful!!!