Be Ready To Forgive - Ephesians 4 and Philemon - May 25, 2008

Sunday School Lesson – Be Ready To Forgive – May 25, 2008
This is our final lesson in our series “Unlocking Your Best Relationships.”
We have explored the keys to building and maintaining our relationship with others – Appreciate others – Communicate with others – Be Trustworthy – Be Forgiving.
In any relationship forgiving is often difficult but vital to a relationship. On the heels of forgiveness is trust. When we sin against GOD, the scripture tells us to confess, repent and GOD forgives, cleanses and restores. The word repent means to stop the sin you are committing and do not repeat it.
In a marriage an unfaithful spouse has broken trust. Once trust is broken it is very difficult to rebuild that trust. The offended spouse can forgive but it takes a faithful spouse to rebuild that trust.
In an abusive situation, the abused person can forgive but it means the abuse must end. The offender must prove himself or herself before a relationship is restored. Some situations cannot be restored and should not be restored. It is beyond my thinking to understand why anyone can abuse another person. But it happens every day.
As Christians, we are to forgive as CHRIST has forgiven us. But as a dear friend of mine put it, you can forgive and pray for a person who has offended you but when you pray, keep one eye open. Forgiveness does not mean you park your brain. Addicts, hot heads and abusers who have changed must earn the trust of others.
Our scripture is Ephesians and Philemon, both written by the Apostle Paul. Ephesians deals with Christians taking off their old way of life and putting on their new life in CHRIST. Philemon is an example of a slave running away from his master and Paul urging the master to forgive the slave, who has become a believer, and accepting him back without punishment. The slave is a changed person since becoming a believer.
Let’s read Ephesians 4:22-24:
22 you took off[9] Or Jesus. This means: take off (as a command) your former way of life, the old man that is corrupted by deceitful desires; 23 you are being renewed[10] Or desires; renew (as a command) in the spirit of your minds; 24 you put on[11] Or minds; and put on (as a command) the new man, the one created according to God’s [likeness]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. [12] Col 3:10 in righteousness and purity of the truth.
The Apostle Paul uses an ordinary routine each person faces every day, taking off your old clothes and putting on new clothes, to illustrate what happens when we become believers in CHRIST.
It is fitting that he used the illustration of taking off our old clothes and putting on clean clothes. Paul is referring to this act as taking off the old life (sinful flesh) and putting on the new life in CHRIST (Born-again Spirit). This is salvation and salvation is an once-in-a-lifetime act. Paul used the words “being renewed in the spirit of your minds.” Once we become believers in CHRIST by taking off the old person and putting on the new, it is the beginning of the process called sanctification. Sanctification is the daily walk and the daily process of decision making; just plain living in the world. Do we allow the flesh to rule or the spirit? The battle ground is our mind, the seat for decision making. Often the flesh appeals to our minds to get us to decide in favor of the flesh getting what it wants. But we must keep in mind the consequences of yielding to the dictates of the flesh. Do we allow our born-again spirit to govern our mind?
The new person is restored to the original state GOD had intended for mankind. Righteousness and purity of truth come with being restored to the state GOD had intended for mankind before the original sin. Paul tells us in 2 Corinthians 5:21 at the moment of salvation, every believer becomes the righteousness of GOD because CHRIST gave HIS life to pay the penalty for sin. The one thing every person has to do is to accept the fact that CHRIST died for him or her and ask HIM to forgive him or her for his or her sin and ask CHRIST to come into his or her life.
2 Corinthians 5:21:
21 He made the One who did not know sin to be sin for us, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.
Let’s read Ephesians 4: 25-32:
25 Since you put away lying, Speak the truth, each one to his neighbor,[13] Zch 8:16 because we are members of one another. 26 Be angry and do not sin.[14] Jms 1:19–20 [15] Ps 4:4 Don’t let the sun go down on your anger, 27 and don’t give the Devil an opportunity. 28 The thief must no longer steal. Instead, he must do honest work with his own hands, so that he has something to share with anyone in need. 29 No rotten talk should come from your mouth, but only what is good for the building up of someone in need,[16] Lit for the building up of the need in order to give grace to those who hear. 30 And don’t grieve God’s Holy Spirit, who sealed you[17] Or Spirit, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 All bitterness, anger and wrath, insult and slander must be removed from you, along with all wickedness. 32 And be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you[18] Other mss read us in Christ.
The Apostle Paul in essence is saying, since you have now become a born-again believer, you need to act like it in your everyday life. Be honest in your dealing with others. Show others that your new life in CHRIST is real and CHRIST makes a difference in you. It will encourage others to want what you have.
Paul reveals a progression of positive change in the new believer’s life. The thief used to steal; now the thief works with his or her hands to earn an honest living, and then as he or she grows and matures in CHRIST, he or she begins to share what is honestly earned with others. These steps show that the person has taken off his or her old life, put on his or her new life and his or her mind is being renewed as he or she grows and matures in CHRIST.
Be a person with a good reputation. You can be angry but do not sin. This sounds odd, what does he mean? A believer can get angry about the things that make GOD angry. A person’s motive and purpose can define whether or not the anger is righteous or sinful.
GOD forbids anger that is vindictive, resulting from jealousy, resentment, hatred or malice. If a believer steps over the line and is angry for the wrong reason, then he or she needs to confess it and settle it before the sun goes down. Simply, if you don’t settle it quickly, you will likely keep putting it off until you justify what you did or forget it. Setting it right quickly is a positive witness to the other party or parties involved. If the matter is not settled quickly, it gives Satan the opportunity to get a foothold in your life and the life of the person you have offended.
Is apologizing hard? You bet it is.
When Paul uses the word “rotten” talk it means foul or corrupt talk that gives the response like we have when we smell putrid meat.
There is a beautiful verse in 2 Corinthians 2:14-15:
14 But thanks be to God, who always puts us on display[6] Or always leads us in a triumphal procession, or less likely, always causes us to triumph in Christ,[7] Lit in the Christ, or in the Messiah; see 1 Co 15:22; Eph 1:10,12,20; 3:11 and spreads through us in every place the scent of knowing Him. 15 For to God we are the fragrance of Christ among those who are being saved and among those who are perishing. 16 To some we are a scent of death leading to death, but to others, a scent of life leading to life. And who is competent for this?
What a contrast between the smell of a believer who lives daily for CHRIST and a believer who smells like putrid meat.
Believers are to be a sweet fragrance and giving grace to those who need to be built up. Believers are to be obedient, serve GOD and not grieve the HOLY SPIRIT WHO has sealed each believer until the day of redemption.
A believer is saved at the moment he or she asks CHRIST to forgive him or her and for HIM to come into his or her life. A believer is in a constant state of being saved and will be fully redeemed when CHRIST returns to earth for the second time. All believers in HIM will accompany HIM to earth and receive their glorified bodies. The glorified body is like CHRIST’S body. The time between the moment of salvation and the moment of being fully redeemed is sealed and guaranteed by the HOLY SPIRIT. The HOLY SPIRIT indwells every believer assuring him or her that he or she is GOD’S child.
Romans 8:16:
16 The Spirit Himself testifies together with our spirit that we are God’s children,
GOD’S plan of salvation is to return each believer to the original state HE intended for mankind. If you read in Genesis2:15-17:
15 The Lord God took the man and placed him in the garden of Eden to work it and watch over it. 16 And the Lord God commanded the man, “You are free to eat from any tree of the garden,[16] Gn 3:1–2 17 but you must not eat[17] Lit eat from it from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for on the day you eat from it, you will certainly die.”[18] Gn 3:5
GOD gave man permission to eat from ANY TREE in the garden except the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. In Genesis 3:22-24:
22 The Lord God said, “Since man has become like one of Us, knowing good and evil, he must not reach out, and also take from the tree of life, and eat, and live forever.”[17] Rv 2:7 23 So the Lord God sent him away from the garden of Eden to work the ground from which he was taken. 24 He drove man out, and east of the garden of Eden He stationed • cherubim with a flaming, whirling sword to guard the way to the tree of life
The tree of life was in the garden and man had GOD’S permission to eat its fruit and live forever. However when man sinned, GOD kept man from eating from the tree of life because mankind would live eternally in a fallen state of unrighteousness. GOD intended for mankind to live forever but in a state of righteousness and fellowship with HIM. GOD did not make mankind like a robot but HE gave mankind the freedom to choose. Man chose to disobey GOD, which is called sin. Sin separated mankind from GOD. GOD wanted to restore that broken relationship. Therefore, HE allowed HIS ONLY SON to come to earth, live as a human and be subject to sinning Himself. CHRIST willingly and freely gave HIS life to pay the penalty for the original sin, death. CHRIST’S death on the cross paid the sin debt. However, GOD did not stop with satisfying the sin debt. HE resurrected CHRIST to prove that CHRIST was the sinless lamb WHO paid the sin debt. CHRIST is the first person to receive HIS glorified body. The resurrection is the absolute proof that all believers will also be resurrected and will receive their glorified bodies, which are like CHRIST’S glorified body.
CHRIST is the tree of life. Since all have sinned, every human is dead because of the original sin. To be restored to life, we must be born-again. It is impossible for us to be born-again physically but we must be born-again spiritually. In CHRIST, we are born-again into the original state GOD intended us to be which is righteous. As Adam and Eve could walk with GOD in the garden before they sinned, we as born-again believers can walk with GOD and fellowship with HIM as HE originally intended. CHRIST in us makes us a Christian and because HE is the tree of life, HE gives us eternal life through HIM.
Paul says since believers have the HOLY SPIRIT in them, they must be cleansed of all bitterness, anger, wrath, insult, slander and wickedness. This is sanctification but in order for sanctification to do its work believers must yield their will to GOD.
The working of CHRIST in the believer will produce the fruit of the spirit identified in Galatians 5:22-26:
22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith,[5] Or faithfulness 23 gentleness, self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24 Now those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25 If we live by the Spirit, we must also follow the Spirit. 26 We must not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.
Believers are to forgive as CHRIST has forgiven them. The word used for forgiveness carries the concept of grace. Grace is unmerited favor. When GOD forgives, HE does so with grace.
Let’s read Philemon 8-18:
8 For this reason, although I have great boldness in Christ to command you to do what is right, 9 I appeal, instead, on the basis of love. I, Paul, as an elderly man[4] Or an ambassador and now also as a prisoner of Christ Jesus, 10 appeal to you for my child, whom I fathered[5] Referring to the fact that Paul led him to Christ; see 1 Co 4:15 while in chains—Onesimus.[6] The name Onesimus in Gk means “useful.” 11 Once he was useless to you, but now he is useful to both you and me. 12 I am sending him—a part of myself[7] Lit him—that is, my inward parts —back to you.[8] Other mss read him back. Receive him as a part of myself. 13 I wanted to keep him with me, so that in my imprisonment for the gospel he might serve me in your place. 14 But I didn’t want to do anything without your consent, so that your good deed might not be out of obligation, but of your own free will. 15 For perhaps this is why he was separated [from you]* The bracketed text has been added for clarity. for a brief time, so that you might get him back permanently, 16 no longer as a slave, but more than a slave—as a dearly loved brother. This is especially so to me, but even more to you, both in the flesh and in the Lord.[9] Both physically and spiritually 17 So if you consider me a partner, accept him as you would me. 18 And if he has wronged you in any way, or owes you anything, charge that to my account.
Paul is writing to Philemon who is a wealthy member of the church at Colossae that met in his house. Evidence of his wealth is in the fact he at least owned one (1) slave. Onesimus ran away from his owner and apparently took something of value. Onesimus ended up in Rome and connected with Paul. Paul led Onesimus to CHRIST. Now Onesimus is more than a slave he is a brother in CHRIST.
This is an example of Paul urging the slave owner, Philemon, to forgive and restore Onesimus (oh NESS ih muhs) not as a slave but as a brother in CHRIST. Paul is willing to pay Philemon for anything Onesimus owes him but he reminds Philemon that he owes a debt to Paul.
In verse 15, Paul asks Philemon to look at Onesimus’s leaving as a good thing. As a result of his leaving, Onesimus was now a Christian and when he returns to you, he will be an even better worker than before he left. Paul wants Philemon to look at this event as positive. He wants Philemon to accept Onesimus back as he would accept Paul.
Paul knows that the punishment for a captured runaway slave could be severe. It is reasonable to conclude Onesimus was very reluctant to return to his master.
When we have been wronged it is hard to forgive. We need to keep in mind that CHRIST forgives us. When we have the proper relationship with CHRIST, the renewing of our minds and HIS presence helps us to forgive. GOD’S goal for HIS children is for us to be made in the image of HIS SON JESUS. While hanging on the cross CHRIST uttered the words “FATHER forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.” CHRIST’S mission was to be obedient and serve HIS FATHER. When we have the proper relationship with CHRIST our natural desire is to obediently serve GOD. Forgiving in our strength is near impossible but in CHRIST all things are possible.
We conclude our series of study on unlocking our best relationships. We have studied some keys that unlock barriers that can hinder relationships. These same barriers are present between us and our LORD. First unlock your relationship with HIM and it will help you unlock your relationship with others.
Have a safe and blessed Memorial weekend as we consider the freedom we enjoy, cost many their lives. And as believers, the freedom we have from sin and death, cost CHRIST HIS life. HE paid a debt it was impossible for us to pay. HE paid it freely because HE loves us enough to die for us so that we can be set free from the shackles of sin and death. Our part is to accept what HE has done for us.