Communicate - Deuteronomy 6, Proverbs 4, 2 Samuel 14 - May 11, 2008

Sunday School Lesson – Communicate – May 11, 2008

This is lesson two (2) in our series of study on “Unlocking Your Best Relationships.”

Our scripture is Deuteronomy 6:4-9, Proverbs 4:3-6, 2 Samuel 14:23-24, 28-33.

Communication is vital in all relationships. Some of our young people of today are losing the art of verbal communication because of texting.

Communication is a two (2) way street. For healthy relationships the people involved must communicate with each other. The communications can be written, verbal, touching, listening, responding, good body language, etc. However, there can be barriers to communication such as not reading, not listening, listening with no intent of responding, ignoring what is communicated, inattention, mind already made up, consider that the person communicating doesn’t know anything, doing all the talking to name a few.

Communicating the secret desires in our hearts and minds and pet peeves before they become a problem is good, especially in marriage. All marriages, as well as relationships, need to have an open line of communications. Share things before they swell up and become explosive. But be careful not to nitpick.

This is true when building and maintaining healthy relationships with people or GOD. We need to communicate with GOD, friends, loved ones, bosses, fellow workers, etc. Communication can be just talking, writing, effective listening, showing support, helping, revealing issues festering in our hearts and minds, can be praise, compliments, appreciation, encouragement and the list goes on and on. Effective communication means being consistent. Do not say one thing and do another. If we change our minds, we need to tell the other person or persons that we have changed our minds.

Communicating with GOD through CHRIST is important. I encourage people to reveal to GOD any pet peeves they have with GOD. Lay them out in the open and ask HIM to help you understand issues you have. HE may reveal an explanation or it may be that you need to grow and mature spiritually before you can understand a matter. HE may reveal that HE is teaching you a valuable lesson or HE that we got ourselves in the quagmire because of our own doings, notions, etc.

Often, I have made assumptions about GOD that led me to believe HE would respond in a certain way. However, when HE didn’t, I felt that GOD had let me down and I became disappointed in GOD. It is important to communicate with GOD through HIS Word, prayer, listening, waiting and watching. It may take awhile or HIS answer may come quickly but for sure it will come.

Keep in mind that all believers have direct access to GOD through CHRIST. As HIS children, through the miracle of rebirth, we can go in the very throne room of GOD and climb into HIS lap and call HIM “Daddy.”

Vital to good communication is effective listening. I love the word “listen” used in our
first scripture. The Hebrew word is “shema” or “sh’ma.” It carries the idea of effective listening in an intelligent, attentive manner with the intent of being obedient or doing what one can if action is needed.

Communication also involves looking for the non-verbal’s or body language. Most of us can send a loud message through our body language. Body language speaks volumes. Look for body language when you are either listening or speaking.
Our scriptures, today, will address two (2) positive illustrations of effective communication and one (1) example of poor communication.

Let’s read Deuteronomy 6:4-9:
4 “Listen, Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is One.[1] Or Yahweh is our God; Yahweh is One, or The Lord is our God, the Lord alone, or The Lord our God is one Lord [2] Mk 12:29,32; Jms 2:19 5 Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your strength.[3] Mt 22:37; Mk 12:30; Lk 10:27 6 These words that I am giving you today are to be in your heart. 7 Repeat them to your children. Talk about them when you sit in your house and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8 Bind them as a sign on your hand and let them be a symbol[4] Or phylactery; Mt 23:5 on your forehead.[5] Lit symbol between your eyes [6] Dt 11:18; Ex 13:16 9 Write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.[7] Dt 11:18–20

As stated earlier “listen” means to listen with the intent of applying, being obedient, acting upon or internalizing the information. It is effective listening.

Moses is communicating to the Israelites what GOD has commanded him to say to them. In essence Moses is saying, people I want you to listen and listen well. I want you to fully understand and comprehend what I am about to tell you. It is a matter that is for your on good and the good of your children and your children’s children to come. Listen as if your lives depended upon what I am about to tell you, because it is vital to you and your families.

JESUS quoted verse 5 when HE was asked, what was the greatest commandment? Then HE gave us the second most important commandment, “to love our neighbor as ourselves.”

Verse 5 gives the trinity of man/woman – heart, soul and strength. First, we are to love GOD with all of our heart. The heart is considered the very core of our being. It is the most secret place that only you and GOD know about. It is the eyes of our heart. It is the center of our being as humans where we make decisions. This is the place the HOLY SPIRIT speaks to us and where we decide to follow GOD or the flesh or something else. It is the place that GOD reveals truth to us. It is the seat of comprehension and understanding.

Second, there is the soul. The soul is our psyche. When we try to play religion the soul can help us play and act very religious. But our heart knows we are a fraud. When the heart is right before GOD the soul knows it. Then the soul is caught between the will of the spirit and the will of the flesh. GOD wants the spirit to rule the believer’s life but the flesh wants to rule because after all it is reality. How can the flesh allow the unseen to rule the seen.

Third, there is the physical. Some try to earn their way to heaven or to be accepted by GOD. The physical is the flesh. The soul can bring the flesh under some control but it takes the heart or the re-born spirit to really control the flesh. The Apostle Paul says we must die to the flesh and let the spirit rule our lives.

So GOD instructed Moses to tell the people to keep in mind, every moment of the day, the importance of loving GOD with all their heart, soul/mind and strength. And teach their children to do the same.

Before CHRIST, the Israelites had to physically have this scripture before them every moment as a reminder. After CHRIST, all believers have this scripture written in their hearts by the indwelling HOLY SPIRIT. Men and women decide moment by moment who will control their lives - their born again spirit or their flesh. Know that the victory is when we allow the spirit to rule.

GOD wants HIS people to instruct their families then and now. HE wants all believers to allow the spirit to control their lives and teach their families through scripture and example. Just as CHRIST is the head of the church the husband/father is to be the spiritual leader his home. But most often it is the women who are the examples and teachers of spiritual matters to their children. This is great and GOD honors women presenting the good news to their families. Men, if you have not already done so, be a man and be the spiritual leader of your home. Some men may say, “I don’t do religion.” Well neither do I. Religion is manmade. CHRIST in you makes you a Christian and not attending church. But once a believer you need to find a church, where GOD’S Word is taught and become a part of it. There is no perfect church but ask GOD to show you the church you need to attend and grow spiritually.

Let’s read Proverbs 4:3-6:
3 When I was a son with my father, tender and precious to my mother, 4 he taught me and said: “Your heart must hold on to my words. Keep my commands and live.[1] Pr 3:1–2; 6:20–23; 7:1–2 5 Get wisdom, get understanding;[2] Pr 16:16 don’t forget or turn away from the words of my mouth. 6 Don’t abandon wisdom, and she will watch over you; love her, and she will guard you.

The writer of Proverbs is King Solomon. He was the second son of King David and
Bathsheba. This Proverb seems to be a testimony of King Solomon telling what he learned from his father, King David. We know from scripture that GOD told Solomon that HE would give him whatever he asked for – riches, long life or death of his enemies – but Solomon asked for wisdom. This pleased GOD. Did Solomon learn the importance of wisdom from his father?

Solomon verbalizes the importance of investing in your children when they are young. Both the father and the mother have vital roles in training children when they are young. Proverbs 22:6 is clear about training children:
6 Teach a youth (or a child) about the way he/she should go; even when he/she is old he/she will not depart from it.

It is important to note the words, “When he or she is old.” Many parents have had to hang onto this promise because of wayward children.

In essence Solomon is saying parents train your children when they are in their formative years. It is important that we as parents practice what we preach. Not only teach our children but also practice what we teach. Consistency is critical to training children.

Solomon talks about wisdom as if she was his wife or a wise woman. Be obedient to wisdom and love wisdom and you will benefit greatly from that attitude. Teach the valuable things you have learned from your parents along with the things you have learned through practical experience. The concept is that each succeeding generation will be better off than the preceding generation because they have not followed their own whims or notions but followed wisdom.

A pastor many years ago defined wisdom as “Knowledge applied according to GOD’S plan.”

The Book of James instructs in James 1:5:
5 Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives to all generously and without criticizing, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith without doubting. For the doubter is like the surging sea, driven and tossed by the wind.
Let’s read 2 Samuel 14: 23-24, 28-33:
23 So Joab got up, went to Geshur, and brought Absalom to Jerusalem. 24 However, the king added, “He may return to his house, but he may not see my face.” So Absalom returned to his house, but he did not see the king.[6] Lit king‘s face
28 Absalom resided in Jerusalem two years but never saw the king. 29 Then Absalom sent for Joab in order to send him to the king, but Joab was unwilling to come. So he sent again, a second time, but he still wouldn’t come. 30 Then Absalom said to his servants, “See, Joab has a field right next to mine, and he has barley there. Go and set fire to it!” So Absalom’s servants set the field on fire.[8] DSS, LXX add So Joab‘s servants came to him with their clothes torn and said, “Absalom‘s servants have set the field on fire!” [9] Jdg 15:3–5 31 Then Joab came to Absalom’s house and demanded, “Why did your servants set my field on fire?” 32 “Look,” Absalom explained to Joab, “I sent for you and said, ‘Come here. I want to send you to the king to ask: Why have I come back from Geshur? I’d be better off if I were still there.’ So now, let me see the king. If I am guilty, let him kill me.” 33 Joab went to the king and told him. So David summoned Absalom, who came to the king and bowed down with his face to the ground before the king. Then the king kissed Absalom.

Our first two (2) scripture references deal with good communication; the importance of communicating with GOD and the importance of communicating with our children. This scripture is an example of poor communications or the failure to communicate. This happened with King David, a man after GOD’S own heart and his son who he loved dearly.

Some brief background. King David committed adultery with Bathsheba and she became pregnant. King David asked that her husband be summoned from the battle field in hopes he would sleep with his wife, Bathsheba. But Uriah remained faithful and did not sleep with his wife and returned to the battle field carrying his own death sentence. Uriah was placed on the front lines and was killed. King David took Bathsheba as his wife but the child they conceived during their affair died. King David repented of his sins and GOD forgave him but the sword never left his house. David’s daughter, Tamar, was raped by her half brother, Amnon. Absalom, Tamar’s full brother, became angry when he heard what happened to Tamar and vowed to kill Amnon. Absalom prepared a party for all the sons of King David and used that opportunity to have Amnon killed. Then Absalom fled to Geshur (GHEE shuhr). He lived in Geshur for three (3) years without any communication from his dad. His dad grieved for his son. King David’s military leader, Joab, devised a plan to urge King David to reach out to Absalom. It worked and Joab went to Geshur and brought Absalom back to Jerusalem. Although King David sent for Absalom, he told Joab that Absalom could not see him.

Our scripture shows the results of poor or no communication. Ignoring a problem does not make it go away. If King David had acted sooner and tried to maintain the relationship with Absalom the outcome may have been different. We can only speculate and learn from the mistakes of others.

As we read the scripture we see there was finally a meeting between King David and Absalom. It seems they were finally reconciled. But you need to read the rest of the story to see that their reconciliation was brief and the end result was more violence and bloodshed. True reconciliation should have been the beginning of restoring their relationship and fellowship. We cannot have a flash in the pan and think that all will live happily from now on.

Maintain effective communications. Seek wisdom from GOD.