Bible Study - Extraordinary - Giving Others What They Really Need - Proverbs 11-17-18-27-29 - May 26, 2013

Bible Study – Extraordinary – Giving Others What They Really Need – May 26, 2013

This is our final lesson in our series entitled “Extraordinary Relationships.”

Our scripture is Proverbs 11:12-14; 17:17; 18:24; 27:5-6, 9-10, 17; 28:23; 29:10.

Friendship is a true treasure. Being a true friend and having a true friend is a wonderful bonding experience. Our lesson covers three attributes in a true friendship - honesty, loyalty and support.

Our study on “Extraordinary Relationships” began with the most important relationship and that is our relationship with GOD through CHRIST. Many people reject CHRIST as the way to GOD. Yet, it is the love of GOD and the love of CHRIST that resulted in CHRIST giving HIS life for the sins of all who place their faith in HIM. JESUS stated in John 14:6:

6 Jesus told him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.

CHRIST is the only person who has been resurrected from the dead which is GOD’S proof to all that HE paid the sin debt in full and conquered death. Those who place their faith in CHRIST receive eternal life through the miracle of rebirth. Eternal life is a free gift all but each person has to accept it by faith. If you have not taken that step of faith, I urge you to do so now. Ask CHRIST to forgive you for your sins and to come into your life now. The miracle of rebirth, through CHRIST, makes you a child of GOD. Once you become a child of GOD, you will always be HIS child for eternity. Just as when you were born physically, you can never change who your parents are. That is, once a child of GOD always a child of GOD.

God’s desire is for HIS children to build and maintain an active relationship with HIM. The miracle of rebirth begins this process and depending upon our willingness to pursue that relationship, it can result in a bond and relationship that will grow into being best friends. Christians must study the Bible and put into action what GOD reveals though the indwelling Holy Spirit. Study and prayer is not just to get to know about GOD and CHRIST but to get to know them through obedient service. As we obediently serve GOD through the leadership of the indwelling Holy Spirit, our relationship with GOD through CHRIST will grow and mature. It is an awesome journey but it is up to each Christian. Our relationship is personal and individual. GOD never takes away our right to choose. HIS desire is to be our trusted best friend through relationship.

As we study this last lesson, relate it to GOD being our trusted friend. Recognize and understand that a true friend tells you the truth and has your best interest in mind. Often, we get the notion that GOD is against us when bad things come our way but we must realize HE has our best interest in HIS mind for us. GOD’S love for us compels HIM to reprimand us when it is for our good, which leads us into our first passage.

Let’s explore.

Let’s read Proverbs 27:5-6; 28:23; 29:10 (Honesty)

These three passages, although in different areas of Proverbs, deal with honesty. Being honest with a person is sometimes hard to do - depending upon the circumstances. If a friend is headed for a cliff and will fall over unless we warn him or her, we move with great haste and do all we can to warn him/her to prevent it. If he/she refuses to heed our warning, then he/she will suffer the consequences.

These passage selections focus upon the need for uncompromised honesty with a person.

Proverbs 27:5-6:

5 Better an open reprimand than concealed love. 6 The wounds of a friend are trustworthy, but the kisses of an enemy are excessive.

To me, in verse 5, the open reprimand is given the instant you are made aware of the situation. You respond out of love and concern for the person who is about to get into a bad situation. Based upon your experience or vantage point, you know he/she is headed for serious trouble. Yes, such a reprimand hurts and may result in a damaged relationship but a friend knows he/she must do the right thing by giving wise counsel even when it may be unpleasant. An enemy may flatter you with kisses, kind words or remain silent knowing that you are headed for a bad situation. An enemy gloats about your potential hurt.

Proverbs 28:23:

23 One who rebukes a person will later find more favor than one who flatters with his tongue.

Verse 23 reflects the person who is honest and tells you that what you are doing will be harmful or hurt you. You think they are meddling in your life but they do it out of love for you. One day you may recognize and acknowledge that the person gave you wise counsel. Some friends are afraid they will loose your friendship if they are honest with you. So they do not tell you the truth. A good friend risks the relationship to be honest with you.

Proverbs 29:10:

10 Bloodthirsty men hate an honest person, but the upright care about him.

Verse 10 uses the word “bloodthirsty.” A person can be bloodthirsty in more ways than killing another person. You can kill another person’s reputation through gossip. You can remain silent when you know a person is making the wrong decision but you think he/she deserves whatever happens to him/her. Being jealous of a person who is popular, great looks, charismatic, talented and the list goes on can result in the jealous person not offering wise counsel to that person. A person who is honest and has integrity will offer wise counsel regardless of the potential reaction of the person being given the counsel. Some people delight in the failure of others and salivate when they see the potential. 

Let’s read Proverbs 17:17; 18:24; 27:10 (Loyalty)

The overarching message in these passages is loyalty.

Proverbs 17:17:

17 A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a difficult time.

A good friend is a priceless relationship and can extend beyond blood relations as we see in verse 17. A friend loves at all times, the good and bad times but a brother’s love is reserved for the difficult times.

Proverbs 18:24:

24 A man with many friends may be harmed, but there is a friend who stays closer than a brother.

Verse 24 reveals that having many friends is no guarantee of true friendship. It all depends upon the motives of those who claim to be your friends. Rather than having many friends, a true friend is better because such a relationship can be more binding than a blood relationship or having fair weather friends. JESUS said in 15:12-13:

12 This is My command: Love one another as I have loved you. 13 No one has greater love than this, that someone would lay down his life for his friends.

JESUS gave HIS life just for you to accept HIM by faith. HE gave HIS life before you accepted HIM.

The Apostle Paul stated in Romans 5:8-11:

8 But God provesn Rm 3:5 His own love for uso Jn 3:16; 15:13; Rm 8:39 in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!
9 Much more then, since we have now been declared righteous by His blood,p Rm 3:25 we will be saved through Him from wrath.q Rm 1:18; 1Th 1:10
10 For if, while we were enemies,r Rm 11:28; 2Co 5:18-20; Eph 2:3; Col 1:21 we were reconciled to God through the death of His Son, then how much more, having been reconciled, will we be saved by His life!s Rm 8:34; Heb 7:25
11 And not only that, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ. We have now received this reconciliation through Him.t

Remember 2 Corinthians 5:21:
21 He (GOD) made the One (JESUS) who did not know sinn 1Jn 3:5 to be sino Or be a sin offering for us,p Rm 8:3; Gl 3:13; 1Pt 2:24 so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.

GOD made the way to HIM through JESUS. Salvation is free to all who will accept CHRIST because of the love both GOD and CHRIST have for all people as is revealed in John 3:16-18:

16 “For God lovedh Jn 12:43; 1Co 13:1; Gl 2:20; Col 1:13; 3:12; 1Th 1:4; 2Th 2:13,16; 1Jn 4:7-12; Jd 1 the world •in this way:i The Gk word houtos, commonly translated in Jn 3:16 as “so” or “so much” occurs over 200 times in the NT. Almost without exception it is an adverb of manner, not degree (for example, see Mt 1:18). It only means “so much” when modifying an adjective (see Gl 3:3; Rv 16:18). Manner seems primarily in view in Jn 3:16, which explains the HCSB‘s rendering. He gave His •One and Onlyj 1Jn 4:9 Son,k Jn 5:19; Heb 1:2 so that everyone who believes in Him will not perish but have eternal life.l Jn 12:25; Rm 5:8; 1Jn 3:16; 4:9-10
17 For God did not send His Son into the world that He might condemnm Jn 8:11 the world, but that the world might be saved through Him.
18 Anyone who believes in Him is not condemned, but anyone who does not believe is already condemned,n Mt 12:41; Mk 16:16 because he has not believed in the nameo Jn 10:25; 1Jn 3:23 of the One and Only Sonp Jn 5:19 of God.

Proverbs 27:10:

10 Don’t abandon your friend or your father’s friend, and don’t go to your brother’s house in your time of calamity; better a neighbor nearby than a brother far away.

Verse 10 encourages a person to build and maintain good relationships with those near him/her. If your parent or parents have built a relationship with someone who lives close to you, then maintain and build upon that relationship because there may come a time when you may need all the help you can get from them or you can be of help to them. You need to develop true friendships among those who live close to you. If something bad happens your closest help may be a neighbor, who is your friend. If you rely upon blood relations, your kin may not be readily available in an immediate crisis. But for an extended or long term crisis, blood relations usually come to our aid even if far away from us.

Let’s read Proverbs 11:12-14; 27:9, 17 (Support)

Proverbs 11:12-14:

12 Whoever shows contempt for his neighbor lacks sense, but a man with understanding keeps silent. 13 A gossip goes around revealing a secret, but a trustworthy person keeps a confidence. 14 Without guidance, people fall, but with many counselors there is deliverance.

True friendship is a wonderful gift. We need to build and maintain friendship with our neighbors. When a friend confides in us, we are to honor their trust and not go tell it or use it to spread gossip. We all need guidance in our lives and we need those we can trust to give us wise counsel.

A wise person knows when to speak and when to keep his/her mouth shut. When a person places his/her confidence in you, he/she considers you trustworthy therefore do not use it as an opportunity to gossip. Christians must be careful and not use prayer time for an opportunity to gossip.

Verse 14 brings to mind the old saying, “Two heads are better than one.” We all need wise counsel or guidance from time to time. Seek it from several sources, when possible, then compare and choose the best course of action based upon your circumstances.

Proverbs 27:9:

9 Oil and incense bring joy to the heart, and the sweetness of a friend is better than self-counsel.

Just as oil and incense are comforting and soothing to a person, so is wise counsel from a trusted friend. We can take comfort in knowing when we go to a trusted friend; he/she will give us counsel which will be in our best interest. Again, GOD’S desire is for HIS children to consider HIM such a trusted friend.

Proverbs 27:17:

17 Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

How do we sharpen an ax or lawn mower blade? We use a metal file or a sharpener which is stronger than what we want to sharpen, thus “Iron sharpens iron.” Truth from a true friend can be abrasive but it is intended to benefit us. It may sting and hurt for awhile but when the sharpening is over we will realize that we can cut through life’s circumstance so much easier. 

We develop and build good friends by being a good friend. As a Christian we can build an intimate, loving relationship with CHRIST. HIS desire is to be our best friend. HE gave HIS life upon the cross for each person that places his/her faith in HIM and doing so will result in eternal life.

We have studied passages from Proverbs called the book of wisdom but our relationship with GOD through CHRIST is the beginning of wisdom.

Be safe as we celebrate Memorial Day. Keep in mind that our freedom in America comes with a price. A special thank you to all the men and women who have served, are serving our country and those who have given their lives. May we never become complacent or take our freedom for granted but stand firm. Blessings!!!